


Once in twenty lifetimes

by MaryLestrange



Series: Loathing [10]
Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: F/F, Kissing, Love Confessions, Making Out, Making Up, Only One Bed, Shouted confessions, Stuck on Clivesdale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29762568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryLestrange/pseuds/MaryLestrange
Summary: If the universe is infinite, then it's definite, there's an alternate reality where Linda and Becky can be together.This is that reality.One of the alternate endings/timelines for the Loathing series, and probably the only one that'll be multichapter.Tags will be added as the story goes on, and the rating might change in the future too.
Relationships: Barnroe, Becky Barnes & Linda Monroe, Becky Barnes/Linda Monroe
Series: Loathing [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736767
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Once in twenty lifetimes

**Author's Note:**

> Help this was not supposed to be the first timeline that I posted! I was planning on working at leats the apotheosis and the black friday endings first, but i guess i just couldn't wait to get them together!  
> Anyways, this has been a rollercoaster to write, i hope y'all about it!   
> Fair warning: it gets a little spicy at the end ;)

A bit more than a year has passed since Jane died. Since the night Becky freed herself from Stanley. Life has been... mostly good since then, like a burden has left her shoulders. She even met Tom again, a few months ago. They talked about their past and ended up having sex, but it ended up being just a rebound, and it didn't last more than a few weeks. They were trying to hold on to the idyllic memories of their youth, but too much has changed, they were not the same people anymore. Both of them needed to heal their respective wounds, and a relationship between them wasn't the way to do that. 

Breaking up with him for the second time didn't break her heart like the first time did. Becky loved Tom Huston, she'd always have some affection for him, but she wasn't  _ in love _ with him, not for a long time. He wasn't even the love of her life, though Becky didn't have any hope of getting with that one either. Linda, of course, has always been unattainable. 

So she was trying to focus her life on other things, like her job and engaging in charity work. Helping people made her feel happy, fulfilled. That's why she was in Clivesdale for that weekend. She was involved in a charity project to distribute winter clothing and soup for those who needed it. The season was just beginning, but the cold was hitting hard this year. She's spent all Saturday on the field, and now she was driving back to the motel where she'd spend the night. 

The news report said there was a big snowstorm coming, and everything was closing up early because of it. The wind was already blowing like crazy, and the snow already started to fall, melting when it hit the floor and Becky's windshield. The few people still on the street were getting in their houses or cars, all looking to shelter themselves. So she was surprised to see a short figure standing under a marquese, pacing slightly. As she drove closer, Becky recognised who it was, and there was no way she wouldn't stop. 

  
  


Linda was furious. Everything that could possibly go wrong that day, went wrong. She didn't like going to Clivesdale, but sometimes she had to. There were things she didn't trust anyone else to do right, and the most sensitive parts in managing money was something she had to do by herself. It took twice the time she thought it would take to sort things out on the bank, with all the fucking bureaucracy, and then on her way back, the car broke. 

She had to scream with a lot of repair shop owners from Hatchetfield over the phone, but all of them refused to go fetch her car. She had to settle for one in Clivesdale, but it'd only get fixed tomorrow. And when she tried to order an Uber, they were all out of commission too. All that for that fucking storm! It was so stupid! What was the problem with crossing a goddamn bridge? It wasn't even snowing yet, just wind and that gross dirty melting snow. Of course she called Gerald, but even he was failing her that day.

"What do you mean you can't come get me?" her voice was pretty much hysterical by that point.

"I'm sorry, I've got a surgery now, honey..." His voice was meek at the other side of the line.

"So reschedule it!" wasn't it obvious? Why wasn't Gerald putting her as a priority, like he normally did? He mumbled some excuse for it, as Linda noticed a car slowing down as it approached her. "I don't care that she's already anesthetized, Gerald!" she shouted, as the car stopped and it's window opened. She turned to look at it, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck off, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw who it was. 

  
  


"Becky Barnes. What the fuck are you doing here?" Linda's voice was full of disdain, as it usually was, as she rested her phone on the shoulder. What were the odds of them meeting in Clivesdale, when they so rarely met in Hatchetfield?

"I could ask you the same thing. Do you need a ride or something?" Linda barely waited for her to finish the question, and she was already getting in the car. 

"Thought you'd never ask!" She said, slamming the door and putting her phone back on her ear. "There you go, Gerald, I found a ride, go do your fucking surgery. Yes, I already sent her to get the kids..." 

Only then Becky could take a good look on her. She was dressing fancy, with a black turtleneck and a white coat with some furs, but her outfit and her pretty hair were all ruined by the wind and the snow that melted on her. 

"Wow, you're a mess!" Becky said with a smile, when Linda hung up the phone. 

She just couldn't miss the opportunity to mock Linda, it wasn't everyday someone got to see that woman looking anything less than flawless. And of course that enraged the blonde, the sheer indignation that filled her eyes on that moment was probably the best thing on Becky's day so far. And it's been a great day. 

  
  


"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" She yelled, feeling the anger boil in her chest.

Becky burst in laughter, and Linda opened and closed her mouth a couple times, too angry to even process. Really? On top of that already shitty day, she'd still have to go through Becky Barnes, of all people, mocking her? Yes, she knew her coat was ruined and her hair was a wreck, it was a travesty and the last thing she needed was having that rubbed on her face.

"Don't speak to me, just drive! We better cross that bridge before the storm gets big!" That made Becky stop laughing, at least. But Linda didn't like the apologetic look that appeared in her face instead.

"Oh, sorry, I'm not going to Hatchetfield."

"Whaaaat?" Even as she spoke, Linda noticed she did that thing with her voice that Becky used to say was annoying, that throaty breathy sound at the beginning of the word that gave it such a dramatic flare. She often did that when she was around the redhead just to pick on her, but it came out naturally when she was surprised, like now. 

"I'm staying the night at a motel nearby…" 

"Well, I'm fucked." Linda sunk into the seat, looking outside. The storm was already getting worse, some of the snow that hit the windshield didn't melt anymore, and the wind looked stronger. 

"You could stay there… there's a couch in the room..." Becky sounded hesitant. 

"Sure, it's not like I have any other option." She agreed, her eyes still fixed on the storm outside.

Her words weren't entirely true, though. She could go with Becky to that motel and rent a room for herself. It would spare her from spending the night in a room with Becky Barnes. All their latest interactions proved that being alone with the redhead only lead to disaster and pain. Her brain was trying to say how terrible that idea was, but Linda must be a bit masochistic, because she couldn't help but feel a kind of thrill on the thought of going with it. 

  
  


Becky gripped the steering wheel, her eyes fixed on the road ahead, as she tried not to panic. What the hell was she thinking to suggest that? And Linda just went with it? Becky thought she'd laugh in her face and say she'd rent a room for herself, but apparently she didn't think of that. And now they would share a room. That could only end poorly, it was the one certain thing in dealing with Linda. And yet she kept trying, unable to truly distance herself. 

"So what were you doing here at Clivesdale?" She broke the silence, her peripheral vision catching Linda typing on her phone.

"Bank stuff. Then my car broke and I'm stuck in this hellhole. What I don't understand is why would you willingly spend a night here." God, that thing she did with her voice at the beginning of some words made her sound so snobbish! Becky hated it, but she wouldn't lose her temper over something so small.

"I'm working here this weekend on a charity event, to help people in need with clothes and food." She said, with a proud smile on her face.

"Ew. But still, why not sleep home? It's just a two hours ride." Becky rolled her eyes when the blonde showed her disgust for the thing she loved, but she did her best to ignore it and move on with the conversation.

"We start early, I don't wanna have to wake up at four a.m. to be on time."

"Wow, you're really dedicated to this lousy bullshit, huh?" The mocking tone in Linda's voice was not helping her temper.

"It's not bullshit, Linda! It's very important work! Trying to make the world around us better!" She said, exasperated.

"Oh, right, you gotta put an extra effort to it. I forget that not everyone can make the world better by just existing, like me." the nerve of that woman!

"Oh my God, your so…" Becky groaned and rolled her eyes, unable to find a word to express how much Linda frustrated her. Thankfully, they arrived at the motel just then. 

  
  


"Is this the place? Ew..." Linda barely stepped inside the room before she started to complain. 

It had a fairly big bed that looked almost acceptable, but everything else was of terrible quality. The small couch looked old and hard, the bathroom barely had space to turn around, and that was it, nothing else. In short, a piece of crap. 

"You can't even pretend you're not an ungrateful bitch?" Becky sounded annoyed, but unsurprised, as she locked the door and threw her purse on the couch. 

"What's there to be grateful about? I'm stuck in  _ Clivesdale _ , in a  _ shitty _ motel, and with  _ you _ , of all people!" She made sure to sound even more dramatic than the usual.

"Well, the door is right there, you're free to go!" Linda had to suppress a little smile when she heard the barely contained anger in the redhead's voice. 

"Whatever. I'll take the bed, of course." She pointed out, very nonchalantly, sitting on the edge of the bed and starting to peel off her black leather gloves. At her peripheral vision, she could see Becky gawking at her in utter disbelief. 

"What? No! I had a very long day, and tomorrow I'll work very hard too, and I need a proper night of sleep to rest!" She protested, and Linda shrugged, not caring to look directly at her. Why the hell arguing with Becky Barnes still felt so nice?

"I'm not touching that sorry excuse for a couch. Honestly, it's too much humiliation, sleeping in a stinky dusty thing like that." Her words apparently were the last straw for Becky's patience.

"How can you be such a fucking asshole? You'd be freezing in the damn storm right now if it weren't for me! And still you only complain and act like you're entitled to this! Fuck you, Linda!"

She got closer to the bed to give that lecture, looming over Linda, and she sounded really angry, so the blonde looked up to meet her eyes. Yes, there it was, that beautiful fire burning like it's always been that way. It was impossible not to smile seeing that, but she at least managed to mask it as a sneer. 

"Oh! You're upset I'm not thanking and smiling like the hobos from your charity?" She teased, in a mocking tone, getting some delight to see Becky's face slightly blush. 

"What? You're missing the point! I don't need to be thanked, that's not why I help…" oh it was still so easy to get her sidetracked!

In an impulse, Linda stood up to face her more squarely. What a terrible mistake. There was barely any space between their faces. Too close was inches ago, this was  _ dangerously  _ close. But she couldn't just sit down again now, it would look stupid. 

"Why do you do it, then? What do you need?" She asked, trying to look defiant, uncaring, mocking. Trying not to stare too long into her eyes from that close. Trying not to show how flustered that proximity made her. 

Becky wasn't helping. The redhead didn't step back like she should have, she didn't even keep on the argument, she was just staring at Linda, mouth slightly agape ( _ shit, don't look too long at her mouth! Don't think about it!) _ like she was trying to decide what to say. "What do you need, Becky?" She caught herself asking again, and she wanted to beat herself for how husky she sounded. Becky's blush deepened, and for half a heartbeat they both held their breaths.

"I need a shower." Becky muttered in a haste, running to the bathroom before anything else could be said or done. 

Linda let herself fall in the bed again, letting out a deep sigh. She was getting crazy, that's the only explanation. Why else would she have these delusions that Becky was… it was so fleeting! One second she was sure the woman was leaning towards her, or checking her out, or lost in her eyes just like Linda used to get lost in hers. And the next second it was gone, Becky was running away and Linda was left feeling like her mind was making up those things. 

It wasn't completely impossible, after so many years dreaming about having her feelings returned, it was possible that her mind could start to mix fantasy and reality. Or maybe she was just misinterpreting Becky's signs. But what if she wasn't? What if she was completely sane and not misreading anything? How could she know? 

  


Becky spent a bit more time in the bathroom than she needed to, just to gather back her composure after what just happened. Was she really going to kiss Linda, right there? That was completely ridiculous and a very dumb idea! Of course Linda would reject her and then use that to tease and ridicule her for the rest of their lives, she had to be really stupid to even consider that as an option. But it seemed like her brain turned to mush when Linda was making her angry like that and standing so close to her. So Becky took an extra minute on the shower to stop herself from thinking of Linda like that. 

She left the bathroom dressed in comfortable sweater pants and an old tee, drying her hair with the towel. Linda was still seated on the bed, but now most of her fancy attire was folded into a neat pile beside her. She was just with a plain white tank top, the kind that you wear underneath winter clothes, and Becky couldn't help but notice that it was translucent enough that she could see the shape of her black bra through it. So much for that extra minute. Intent on not looking at that detail, she noticed that Linda's feet were bare, and it was almost cute that they didn't quite reach the floor without the boot's heels. 

Becky suppressed the little smile that crossed her lips, and just then she realized she'd been staring.  _ Shit _ . But the blonde didn't seem to notice, in fact she didn't even glance at her. She was too busy examining her coat, the thing was spread over her, covering the entirety of her legs, as she ran her fingers through the white fluffy fabric spotting every patch where the muddy snow had hit. If you were to judge only the look in her face, you'd say some kind of tragedy happened. 

"Linda? Can you get out of the bed? I need to sleep." She tried to sound cold, but the blonde still didn't bother looking at her.

"Don't talk to me, I'm mourning" Her voice came out low, like she was on the verge of tears.

"Oh, come on, it's not like you can't buy another in a second…" Becky rolled her eyes. Linda had many flaws, but the one Becky most disliked was how materialistic she was. 

"Jesus, you're such a simpleton! Do you think it's easy to get quality fur?" She glanced at her through heavy eyelids, a look of contempt in her eyes. 

"Wait… Are you saying this is actual fur?" Becky did not like this idea, but Linda just scoffed.

"Of course! As if I'd wear anything fake!” she said that so naturally, Becky didn't know if she was more shocked or angry. 

"Linda! Little animals died so you can have this coat!"

"Exactly, it's a tragedy that it's ruined! That's why I'm mourning!"

"God, I can't believe I-- ugh, you're so materialistic!"

"It's very annoying when you keep pointing out the obvious, Barnes." She rolled her eyes. "Give this to your homeless friends or whatever you do on your charity thing, it's ruined anyways." She tossed her coat to Becky, who caught it, surprised, and stared at it for a second, astonished. 

"I… are you serious? Linda, this is… weirdly generous for you, actually. This is huge, thanks!" she said, still staring at the coat. It was a bit dirty and damp, sure, but it was a very good fabric and incredibly warm. This could really save someone from freezing.

Instead of acknowledging the tanks like a normal person, though, Linda let out a disdainful scoff. 

"Who's materialistic now, huh?" She mocked, and it made Becky remember why she was so angry with the woman.

"You're insufferable, you know that?" She said, putting the coat away and turning to look at her. It was just then that she saw… Linda was wearing nothing but that white tank top and black underwear. Becky felt her face immediately burn, and she could tell how red it just got. "I… I brought extra pants... I can land you…" she mumbled, too embarrassed and flustered to be eloquent. 

Linda shrugged. "No need, I normally sleep like this." 

She stood up, taking her folded clothes from the bed and to put them on the bedside table. Becky's eyes followed her. S _ top staring goddamn it!  _ She made herself look away, and hastily went to her backpack and took the extra pair of pants from it. She handed them to Linda, still trying to avert her eyes. 

"I insist." It was almost pathetic how blushed she was, and Linda took the pants from her hands and started dressing. 

"What's the matter, Barnes? Too long since you don't see a butt?" She mocked, and Becky felt her face getting even hotter, if that was possible. She took a deep breath, subduing her embarrassment, and stared at Linda again.

"Not as long as you think, actually." she knew defiance and spite were not the most effective weapons against Linda, but it was hard not recurring to it when she was around her. 

"Oh, right. I heard your back with Tom Huston." The blonde rolled her eyes, and Becky raised an eyebrow. 

"Your gossip is outdated. I dumped him." She said that casually, as she turned to the bed to get it ready for sleep, taking the extra pillows away from it. She felt her face going back to its normal color, since Linda wasn't half naked anymore. 

"Oh? And by dumping I assume you mean it figuratively, not literally dumping his body somewhere like you did the last one, right?" Linda's tone was just as casual as Becky's had been, and the redhead stopped in her tracks, looking at her in disbelief.

"Linda! What the fuck?!" 

"What? There's nobody else here, we can talk about that." How could Linda treat that subject so lightly? As if it was some silly inconsequential secret like the ones they kept in highschool?

"You can't just joke with it like it's nothing!" 

"I know it's not  _ nothing _ , Becky. It's one of the best things you ever did. And it's been a year, you can allow yourself to fucking laugh at it." There was something different in her voice, it sounded almost like… like she was proud of what Becky did. But that didn't make any sense on the ginger's mind.

"It's not something to laugh about, Linda!" 

"Are you sure? As far as I know, you did yourself and the world a favor by getting rid of him. How that's not a good thing?" 

"I…" Becky didn't have an answer to that. "I don't wanna talk about it, let's just sleep." 

She thought Linda would keep questioning, the way she liked to poke at her wounds and push her to her limit. Instead, the blonde just shrugged and said "Okay". Becky was so surprised by this, that it took her a second to realize Linda was getting on the bed. 

"Hey! What are you doing? You're sleeping on the couch!" she complained, hands on her waist, but Linda just tucked herself in.

"I told you I'm not even touching that thing." Her voice was annoyingly calm, and Becky groaned.

"And I said I _need_ to sleep in the bed!" 

"I'm not stopping you." Linda gestured to the empty side of the bed. Sure, there was enough room to share but… but then they would have to share a bed. 

Becky felt her face getting flushed again as she thought about it, and the blonde raised an eyebrow in a teasing expression. What was going on? Was Linda doing that on purpose? Did she… did she notice something? No, she couldn't have… right? Becky wasn't so sure, but she saw no way to avoid sharing the bed. What would she say? That she wouldn't be able to sleep at all on the same bed as her, because she'd spend the night imagining the most inappropriate things? Absolutely not! So the only thing left to do was turn off the lights and lay down, complaining under her breath about how irritating Linda was. 

Then silence fell, with them on the edges of the bed, facing away from each other and leaving as big of a space they could between them. Becky closed her eyes and tried her best to sleep, but she was pretty sure it would be impossible. Her mind was racing, still trying to process that weird conversation about Stanley and how Linda's words affected her, while her body was trying to distract her with the fact of being in the same bed with that infuriating and pretty woman. Half of her filled with desire and temptation, the other half still trying to reconcile her guilts, doubts and fears about what happened last winter, she kept rolling around in her side of the bed, too restless to stay still, let alone sleep.

  


Linda wouldn't be able to sleep. She should have just gone to that damn couch, instead of torturing herself like that! But she still was trying to read Becky's mixed signals. Sure, the way she's blushed was adorable and very encouraging, but then she'd shut herself up, and Linda couldn't figure out what she wanted. Was it possible that after all these years Becky was… she didn't even dare to finish the sentence in her own head. 

But the more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself that it was just an illusion, she was just projecting her fantasies on things that could easily be explained otherwise. And even if she wasn't, what would it matter? Even if Becky really was attracted to her, Linda knew it could only be fleeting, the redhead would never actually love her, so it would be best if they didn't poke that beehive. It would only get her stung. 

It took a whole rationalizing process to convince herself that, and yet that particular beehive was by her side  _ begging _ to be poked! Becky seemed restless, she kept rolling around in the bed like there were ants in it. And, each time she turned, Linda noticed the space between them got smaller. She tried to stay quiet, tensing as she felt Becky get so close there was almost static electricity between them. 

And then Becky turned to Linda's side. She felt her warm breath hit the back of her neck, and it spread chills all over her skin. Shit, that was too much! She couldn't manage this much self control! If she just leaned back a little bit, they'd be touching… she could almost feel the heat from the woman's body, it was taking all her strength not to lean into her. And then she felt a slight shift and, for a long stretching second, Linda was sure Becky was going to end the little distance between them. She held her breath, waiting for it,  _ longing _ for it. 

Instead, Becky turned around. Linda let out her breath, but it wasn't exactly relief she was feeling, it was more like disappointment.  _ Don't turn around, don't turn around! _ Her brain still tried, but Linda wasn't able to resist a temptation this big. She's never been good with resisting temptations. So, in a probably misguided impulse, she sent it to hell and shifted too, turning to lay on her back, and the side of her arm brushed against the woman's back. A shiver ran down her spine. How could a touch so small cause this? Inebriated by the closeness, she turned again, facing her. Now it was her breath hitting the back of Becky's neck, and her arms lightly grazed the woman's back. Damn, her hair's smell was so intoxicating! Linda wanted to drown on it, on  _ her _ . It took all she had to keep herself from reaching out and closing the almost insignificant distance. 

Then she heard a whisper.

"Linda? are you still awake?" 

_ Pretend you're sleeping! Ignore her!  _ Her brain tried to convince her, but she couldn't resist that hint of vulnerability in Becky's voice. 

"Mmhmm."

She felt as Becky shifted in the bed, turning to face her. They were so close their knees and arms were touching, so close their breaths mixed between them. Damn it, why did those eyes seem to glow even in the dark? 

"What?" She tried to sound uninterested.

"Did you mean that? Do you really think what I did was a good thing?" in the dim light, Linda saw her brow was furrowed, and it was clear how much that topic distressed her. She took a deep breath, putting aside every inappropriate thought, trying to be mindful of Becky's feelings.

"Of course I meant it." She made sure to sound as serious and reassuring as she knew how.

"But… but I  _ killed _ someone!" She said that in a whisper, like someone else could hear them otherwise. Linda could hear the guilt in her voice. 

"Is that why you're doing charity?" she spat out, just realising it.

"What? I… no! Of course not! I genuinely like helping people!" Becky really never learned how to lie. Not that she was completely lying, more like omitting.

"Of course you do" she rolled her eyes "but you know that's not the whole reason."

Becky sighed. "Okay,  _ maybe _ I think of it as a way of compensating. And not just for killing him but… for feeling glad I did it." She averted her eyes, and Linda had to fight the urge to lift her chin just to make her look at her again. 

"You  _ should _ feel glad. Didn't you say you like helping people? Doing good for the world or whatever? You did more good for the world by killing him than with this stupid charity of yours." 

"He was a human being…" Linda could hear the inner struggle in her voice, how her world views were being so deeply challenged. 

"Some human beings deserve to die." Linda believed that, especially about Stanley.

"That's horrible." She didn't sound so sure of it anymore.

" _ He _ was horrible." Her tone was firm, but she didn't like that the redhead was still staring down, moping. "Becky look at me." She did, and Linda's heart skipped a beat with the amount of emotions those eyes could carry. How could anyone look into those eyes and still be able to hurt her, intentionally? "You let your guilt trap you with him and ruin fifteen years of your life. You finally have the chance to be free, don't let this guilt trap you again. Don't let him ruin the years you still got ahead of you too." Her voice was stern, and she couldn't help but show a bit of care in that moment. 

She hated seeing Becky suffer for that man, and now that he was gone she just wanted the redhead to be able to never think of him again. Linda hated Becky for the longest time for choosing to be with Stanley. The way she saw it, the woman could have left him at any point, so Linda blamed her for not doing it. But now, with that conversation, she was starting to realize that the binds that trapped Becky with him were mental, emotional, and too deep to be broken by simply walking away. And killing him was just the first step to getting rid of him. After a second of silence, Becky nodded, and reached to take Linda's hand in hers. 

"I guess you're right. Thanks, Linda." Her voice was soft, and a bit muddy for holding back tears. Linda had to make an effort to hold back her impulse to hug her and hold her comfortingly. Instead, she did her best to get back her composure and pretend indifference.

"Just stating facts. It's not like I care or anything." Jesus, was that what she managed to get out? It was terrible, not even Becky bought it.

"Sure." The redhead said, sarcastically. But she didn't let go of Linda's hand. 

Linda didn't let go either, though knowing she should. She could enjoy that little moment, couldn't she? That comfortable silence, their hands touching in the dark, their eyes still locked in each other. It wasn't much, but it was nice. Then Becky broke the silence with a small laugh.

"What?" She narrowed her eyes on the redhead.

"I'm just realising… you judge me for doing charity work, but not for killing someone. It had to be you." Becky had a light mocking tone in her voice.

"What's that supposed to mean? Charity  _ is _ lame!" Linda defended herself, in all seriousness, but it just made Becky laugh again. "You're so ungrateful, you know that? You're lucky to have me to talk about your shit!" 

"I'm ungrateful? Oh, shut up!" She didn't sound mad, in fact there was still a hint of laughter on her voice. Linda groaned and started to turn her back to her, to get her frustration across, but Becky grabbed her hand and and pulled her back, stopping her from facing away. "I am lucky, though. And I'm glad that I can still trust you with something this huge." There was no laughter on her voice anymore, just a very intimate and almost vulnerable tone. How was Linda supposed to keep up her defenses and her facade with this?

"That's 'cause I'm very trustworthy." she tried to sound cold and arrogant, but it mostly came out as playful. 

"Surprisingly so." Becky paused then, clearly hesitating, and she gripped Linda's hand tighter. "I… It'd be nice to… maybe… have you in my life again. You know… we were friends once, right?" She stumbled on the words, and Linda caught her breath. 

It might not seem like it, but that was huge. And, despite of herself, Linda stopped to consider it. Could she be content with that? Becky had a point, they've been friends before, hadn't they? Maybe they could be again. Maybe she could manage it, being by Becky's side, supporting her through this new stage of her life, just hanging out sometimes. Being close, even if not as close as she craved. Holding her hand on occasion. Being a part of her life, the only way she could. Sure, it didn't work out the first time, but maybe the risk was worth taking… maybe it was worth it to have her heart broken just to be close to her again.

"Well, I admit I kinda miss belittling you more often." That had to be the understatement of the year. 

Becky opened a big bright smile, and in a very impulsive gesture, the redhead hugged her. Linda was caught by surprise, and her instinct was hugging her back. And once they were holding each other like that, it was like neither wanted to let go. The hug was warm, soft, and the most comfortable she's been in a while. 

There was something so right and almost pure about that hug, it felt somehow like coming home, and as much as Linda tried she couldn't explain that rationally. There was something between them that simply didn't fade, they never actually became strangers, regardless of all the time they spent apart, and beneath all the countless fights, there was always a deep care for each other. 

And then, of course, there was that ever burning desire. At first, the hug was all about comforting Becky, about reconnecting that bond between them. But after a few seconds she started getting conscientious of the more physical side of it. How their bodies were tightly pressed together, their breasts against each other, their tights touching. That sweet perfume was invading her senses, and after a while there was nothing else on Linda's mind. 

She couldn't stop herself from caressing her long soft hair, and a chill ran down her spine when she felt Becky relaxing under her touch. As she kept caressing, Becky went cuddling herself more against her, like a cat. In fact, Linda was almost sure she heard her purr. It was too adorable, how she seemingly had no problem showing she craved affection, while Linda dreaded so much showing that kind of vulnerability. 

And then she started to caress Linda in return, her hands softly fondling her back as she nuzzled in her neck, making chills run down her spine. How could something so small have such an effect on her? And then she felt Becky's lips brushing against her neck, and she held her breath. For a split second, she thought it was an accident, but then she did it again, and there was no denying it was a kiss that time. She should have stopped it, pushed her away, but instead she pulled her tighter as Becky started distributing little kisses along her jawline. 

How could that still be platonic? Linda was panting, and she was about to lose control and pin that woman in the bed and kiss her senseless… but then she caught a glimpse of her face, her eyes were closed, and for some reason Linda had a terrible flashback, from the last time the redhead was being this affectionate towards her, when Linda let herself go just to find out Becky was just thinking about Tom. Remembering it made her tense, she had to make sure that wouldn't happen again.

  


Becky was almost in a trance, completely inebriated by Linda, the closeness, the warmth, the ragged breath near her ear making her shudder, the softness of her skin beneath her lips… She barely had the conscience of when exactly she started giving those little kisses, she just got tired of holding off, and without even thinking she acted on her need for affection, the catharsis of their conversation and the closeness of their bodies pushed away her fears of rejection, and she simply followed her impulses. At least until Linda spoke.

"Becky?" Her voice was hesitant, doubtful, and she slightly pushed the redhead away. 

That was like waking her up, and Becky almost jumped away, all her fears coming back to her. Damn it, what was she thinking? She wasn't, clearly. She got too carried away to think properly, to remember Linda didn't reciprocate her feelings, to consider she'd be ruining that new friendship that didn't even start. 

"Oh my god! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have… I'm sorry! I… you're not…" she mumbled, recoiled on the corner of the bed, looking down, struggling to justify herself.

"I'm not Tom." Linda's voice was stone cold, and her words were so odd that Becky snapped her head to look at her, confused. 

"What?" She was dumbfounded, staring at Linda as she stood up from the bed.

"Of course this was about him, everything is about him with you, isn't it?" There was anger in her voice, and also some deep hurt, and Becky couldn't understand where that was coming from.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh please, don't play dumb! You're doing it again, coming after me when things blow up with him! Are you trying to relive highschool or something? I don't even get it, you're so fucked up!" Becky didn't remember the last time she saw Linda so furious, so openly hurt as she lashed out. Becky stood up too, and turned on the lights again, still trying to understand the reason behind all that.

"Where the hell are you getting this from? I'm not trying to relive anything! That's exactly what went wrong with Tom--" "See? Because it went wrong with him, then you try to rekindle our friendship as the second option!" Linda interrupted, almost shouting, and… were her eyes a bit watery? When she pushed Becky away, that was definitely not the kind of fallout the redhead was expecting. 

"It's not like that, Linda! I want you back in my life because I… you're important to me!" she stepped towards Linda as she spoke, but the blonde didn't let her get close, stepping back like she was disgusted by her. 

"Don't make me laugh! This is just like the time you came after me in college, right after he left you for the army! Or when he married Jane and you showed up drunk in my house!" Linda wasn't making any sense, bringing up things from years ago and connecting events that had nothing to do with each other.

"This is  _ not _ why I showed up in your house, and  _ you know it _ !" Becky tried to reason, even though touching on that specific topic was still a bit hard for her. 

"Isn't it? Then why did you kiss me and then called his name, huh?" That made the redhead take a step back.

"I did  _ what _ ?" It sounded so far fetched… not kissing Linda while drunk, but saying Tom's name. But Becky had been going through a lot at that time, it made some sense that her actions were confused and misguided.

"Exactly what you heard!" Linda didn't seem to be kidding, either, she was too distressed to make up something like that.

"Why did you never tell me this before?" She was still trying to process that information. 

"Why would I? You were just drunk and horny for Tom Huston!" The way Linda said that, the way she seemed to hurt…

"Did you kiss me back?" She asked, tentatively, holding her breath for the answer.

"FUCK YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" She really was the most vulnerable Becky ever saw her, there was nothing of her usual composure, all her cold and heartless masks were falling down and revealing how hurt she was. And her hurt was all translated into rage, as she launched towards Becky and slapped her shoulders, letting some of that out, but the redhead held her hands to stop her.

"Linda, I'm sorry, ok? I was in a really bad place back then, I'd never have done that otherwise!" Becky had her heart in her eyes then, but Linda didn't look convinced, as she angrily snapped out of her grasp.

"YOU ALMOST DID IT AGAIN RIGHT HERE!" She accused, furious, actually shouting now. 

"I… I wasn't thinking about him at all…" she confessed in a whisper, almost inaudible.

"Why would you do it then?" As much honest as Becky's been, it didn't seem to reach Linda. It was like she was in denial, like she didn't want to believe it. 

"You know what? Forget it." She turned her back to Linda and started to walk away, back to bed. 

Maybe it'd be best to forget that whole conversation, it would probably be safer to not unveil her feelings. She knew very well Linda thought love is weakness, maybe it'd be better if she doesn't know Becky's weakness. But then Linda reached her and grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her back to face her. 

"You know very well I don't forget, Becky." Her tone was demanding, and she still was radiating anger.

"You'll just use it to humiliate me somehow!" She accused, getting on the defensive, and Linda narrowed her eyes.

"Bullshit. You just don't want to admit that I'm right!" That arrogant tone she had, it always made Becky so angry. 

"You're not right!!!!" now she was raising her voice too, getting mad at the woman's attitude.

"Prove it!" Linda was pressuring, and she couldn't help but push back.

"I don't need to prove anything!!!" They were both almost shouting by now, and it was really aggravating how Linda could push her buttons so easily.

"You're just too much of a coward to admit that you're trying to use me to replace Tom!!!" 

"STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT HIM!" Becky snapped, talking over her to make her shut up. "IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM, IT'S ABOUT  _ YOU _ !  _ I LOVE YOU _ , DAMN IT!" She yelled, on an impulse. Linda seemed ready to answer, but she stopped, dumbstruck for a second.

"You what?" She seemed shocked like she's never considered that possibility before, and Becky felt her face becoming red as she got conscientious of what she just confessed.

"Shit, I shouldn't have said that, now you'll just use it against me…" she mumbled, distressed, turning around and starting to step away from her again. Could she bury her face somewhere? That was so embarrassing! And then she heard Linda's footsteps behind her.

"Oh yeah, I'll use the hell out of it." Linda's voice was almost slurred as she grabbed her by the shoulders again and pulled her back roughly, making their bodies collide, and she immediately reached up and took Becky's lips in hers, pulling her by the back of her neck.

There were no thoughts, no hesitation, Becky just let her instincts guide her. The kiss was desperate, almost feral, their mouths clashing with the hunger of two starved souls. Her hands went to Linda's waist and back, pulling her closer, pressing their bodies tightly. The kiss got deeper every second, both exploring the other's mouth with the eagerness of those who spent so many years imagining and craving that moment, while believing it would never happen. 

It lasted long stretching minutes, and even when they needed air they wouldn't let go, holding each other even closer instead. Becky wished that moment could last forever, because she surely would never get enough of Linda. Everything was perfect, the way their bodies seemed to fit and how their mouths moved together with such passion. It was like a dance, a push and a pull, one demanding as the other yields, then inverting it, not exactly fighting for dominance like the cliche said, but actually experimenting with it, giving and taking, adjusting to each other, challenging each other. 

"God I waited so long for this…" Linda breathed out when their mouths went apart many minutes later, her breath heavy and uneven.

"How long?" She asked, lips brushing on hers, one of her hands going up to cup the blonde's face. 

"Since always, bitch." Linda said with a little side smile, and they kissed again, not a bit calmer than before. It would take much more than a kiss to quell their hunger. 

Since always. How did she never notice that? Sure, there were some fleeting moments when she's suspected, but she's always thought it was her wishful thinking, or her reading things the wrong way. So, if she's been less afraid to show how she felt, maybe they would have come to this conclusion much sooner... But that didn't matter right now, all that mattered was that Linda reciprocated her feelings, and they were kissing right now, and Becky felt like her heart would explode at any second. 

And even thought their mouths were devouring each other, they just got hungrier and hungrier. Becky's hand, that was cupping Linda's face, went to her hair and grabbed it, and the blonde sighed inside the kiss, making her shiver. In turn, the hand in the back of Becky's neck went down the collar of her t-shirt, and then it came back up with her nails scratching all the way, and Becky had to bite the woman's lower lip to suppress a moan. Linda sighed again and deepened the kiss even more, before taking Becky's hair as well and pulling it back, parting their mouths again. Becky held her breath when she saw the blonde's lips were red and already a bit swollen. Damn, she was even prettier like that! 

"Since when do you…?" Linda was slightly frowning, and her other hand went up to caress Becky's face with a surprising softness that contrasted with the way she was pulling at her hair, fingertips brushing on her cheeks and lips like she barely could believe that was real. 

"I… I don't know… probably since highschool... but I just realized it... around the time you got married..." she replied, stopping at every few words to plant little soft kisses on her face. But when she finished the sentence, Linda pushed her away with a sudden shove that took her by surprise and made her give a step back.

"TEN YEARS AGO? You fucking moron!!!" Before Becky even knew how to react, Linda was on her again, crushing her mouth on another breathtaking kiss. 

It was rougher now, more fueled by that anger that permeated most of their interactions. Linda pulled her by the collar of her shirt, her other hand going under the hem of it to dig her nails at Becky's waist, while the redhead held her close, hands slowly going up and down her back. Then Linda pushed her again, breaking the kiss and making her stumble another step backwards.

"Linda what…?" She barely got the chance to ask, the blonde pushed her again, now clearly leading her somewhere. 

"Shut up, you made me waste ten fucking years!" Linda radiated that burning hot anger that made her look like a lioness ready to strike and it made every part of Becky tremble inside. 

It was ok that her legs were turning to jelly, though, because Linda just pushed her to the bed, and just as Becky sat down she was on top of her. Taking her hair on a fist, Linda pulled it back, in a way the redhead had to leave her neck exposed, and she didn't waste any time before attacking it. It was impossible not to pant and whimper as Linda kissed her neck, it felt almost too good to bear, and they barely had started. 

Oh God, they barely had started. That really was going to happen… she was going to have sex with Linda Monroe. That realization hit her, and she almost trembled with anticipation, until the other implications of it got her as well. 

"Linda, wait…" her voice was weak as she slightly pushed the blonde away, and Linda immediately stopped, looking at her with a small frown. 

"Did I do something wrong?" God, her voice was so soft, had Becky ever heard this tone on her before? 

"No! I mean, yes! I mean… Linda, you're married! What about Ger--" she was interrupted by the blonde's index finger pressing over her lips. 

"Shh. Don't think about that right now. Forget the rest of the world. Let tonight be just you and me." Her voice was low and hushed, and it sent a shiver down Becky's spine. 

Would she be able to deny anything Linda asked her in that voice? Hardly, especially since that was exactly what Becky wanted too, forget everything, surrender herself completely to that moment. Becky nodded, her eyes locked on Linda's as she captured her finger between her lips, making the blonde grin mischievously. 

The outside world could be dealt with later. Right now, they were isolated in Clivesdale, and she could pretend they were in another universe where there were only the two of them. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
